Overthinking: This is What We Do


Complicated relationships seem to be on the list of defining factors for the millennial generation. One quick type of the phrase “how millennials date” will give you pages of articles devoted to the weird, messy and under-cooked methods known as “dating” within our generation.

The one commonality that works to thread these voices together is the theme of frustration, as many find millennial dating habits to be, to put it bluntly, completely screwed up.

There are endless theories as to why millennials just can’t seem to get it right when it comes to dating, and just about everyone seems to have an opinion on the matter. TV shows, films and music have been written on the topic, because, a millennial or not, modern dating is a fascinating phenomenon.  Following suit with the rest of the culture, houseparty–Ryan Raines and Pio Molina–have offered an insight into their thoughts on the subject with the release of their single, “This Is What You Do.” Drum roll, please.


No really, the duo ushers us in with the sound of a drum roll and slowly builds from there. Strings and midi keyboards work to fill the open space, cementing this track as only something that could have been produced in the current musical climate.

Yes she said, yes she said, yes she said

She got what I like and she digs me, too

Oh, let’s go out tonight

I’m with her and I feel so alive

Lyrically, this song seems to open like most songs do when talking about attraction. Straightforward and simply put, the singer is excited about this new girl he’s found, and their mutual attraction only works to make things more exciting. But, we’re Gen Y; things can’t be that simple.

Oh bring on the nighttime loneliness

Oh I’m havin’ doubts

Oh I should be happy but nonetheless

In my generation, this is what you do

In four lines, the songwriters have perfectly summed up what seems to be the problem with this generation’s dating habits. He admits that yes, while he should be happy–after all this song’s first verse was all about this exciting mutual attraction– doubt and loneliness still find their way in, and instead of fighting these negative emotions, we succumb. It’s what we do.

You take a good thing and you just start thinking about it so hard

You take all the good out

An interesting insight into modern dating. While those outside the generation seem to think the problem centers from not thinking or not trying enough, the members of houseparty seem to think it’s the opposite: we think too hard.

What makes this track so standout in my mind is how quickly the tone shifts. Raines and Molina fool listeners into thinking that they’ll be listening to a love song, but in the matter of thirty seconds, they take us very far from that. The song becomes less about a personal relationship and more so an observation on a generation as a whole. It’s something “I” do and it’s something “you” do.

Will life ever be good enough?

Well this is it

This is what you’re looking for

This is what you do when you don’t see

That life is right outside your door

They take us one step further, and this verse makes things less about love and more about the problems facing Gen Y in general. These feelings of things not ever being enough, of wanting more…with a world of options, Raines and Molina seem to be saying that we get to wrapped up within our own minds to realize that what we have is good. We can’t get our relationships right because we aren’t focusing on those feelings of excitement, the same feelings introduced in the song’s opening verse.

Millennials are always under fire for not doing enough. When it comes to our dating habits, the same complaint is made. But houseparty flips these ideas on their head. While yes, our generation seems to be getting relationships wrong, it isn’t coming from a lack of caring, understanding or thinking. We’re thinking so much that we are forgetting to enjoy the good we have around us. But hey, that’s just what we do.


“This Is What You Do” is available for streaming everywhere.

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